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Being the Hands and Feet of Jesus.

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Jesus healed the sick, loved the poor, touched the leper, stood up for the down-and-out, forgave the sinner, condemned the religious hypocrites, dined with prostitutes, and corrupt tax collectors, challenged the wealthy and powerful, fought for Justice for the oppressed, defied His culture, renounced materialism, demonstrated that greatness is found in serving - and then died that others might live. These actions - performed by one man - changed the world. These same actions, when carried out by His followers, still change the world today.
My world was changed today.

A friend of mine that I've known for about 3 months asks me almost daily, how I am doing and how my husband is doing. These last few weeks, I have expressed to her that I was just tired and overwhelmed. That my husbands energy level is less and less every week, every day. Especially on the weeks he is on Chemotherapy which happens to be this week. She asked me if there was anything she could do. I said the …

Thy Will Be Done

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Thy Will Be Done?  What does that mean?  What does it mean to you?  I'm not really sure anymore. I would like to say that my faith is always strong and that I always lean on that everlasting love, but that is not true.  I'm distracted A LOT!  Like this song says, "Sometimes I gotta stop and remember that you are God and I am not."

Over the last 4 months, I've felt a fog over me.  A deep, sorrowing, drowning feeling.  I put a smile on my face when I'm around others, and I continue to be the "keeper" of my family, but I feel like I am daily pulling myself out of a rut.  Sometimes I shout at God and ask him Why?  Sometimes I cry at the drop of a hat and wonder if God is even there anymore.  I wonder if he is listening or if all of the demons from my past prevent him from being able to hear me.

Then......

I sing, I play the piano, I listen to music.....and I am reminded that he loves me and that his sorrows are deeper than mine could ever be.  Music …

WHO HOLDS YOUR TOMORROW?

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I have had a lot of emotions going through me lately and the best way for me to deal with them is to write.  For some reason, it helps me to feel better when I talk about what is going on.  I don't have time to talk to a therapist or burden all my friends and family with conversations, so I write.... This way, people can listen if they want to, they are not forced to put on a smile and listen to me go on and on about my life while they are struggling with their own demons.  

So, if you have been following our story, you know that Jerry has been having several MRI's over the last year because the Dr's were seeing some changes.  There was no way to know what exactly was happening, so having MRI's often was the best option to figure it out.  Was it swelling?  Was it effects from radiation?  Was it good brain cells that were affected by the treatment?  What was going on?
At his last appointment, we received information to better explain what was happening because the MRI sca…

HOPE

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Hope....What is it?  Where does it come from?  How do we keep it once it is found?

This is something that I have been thinking about for awhile.  Why do we have hope in times when it seems there is no possible way of finding it?  Where do we get it from and how do we sustain those feelings of hope and peace?  

Jerry and I have not been publicizing some things that have been going on.  We have had several different reasons why we hadn't posted about it on the blog or on facebook, nonetheless, I am going to update you today..

Back in April 2016, Jerry had an MRI that showed very little tumor still in his scans.  You could barely see it.  In July 2016, he had another scan that showed some changes.  The changes made the area of the tumor more visible and concerned the Dr's.  (We were still somewhat in the dark at this point) The Dr. scheduled another MRI, which happened to be on the first day of school.  (Last year on the first day of school, Jerry went to the emergency room with sym…

It's Been a Long Year!

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On April 22, 2016, Jerry had what we hope was his final surgery.  His surgery was successful in implanting his new prosthetic bone in his skull where his infected bone had to be removed.   This surgery went very well, and when Jerry left the hospital, he left with a new, nice looking skull again!  He no longer has to wear any protection on his skull to protect his brain.  This was very liberating for him.  It's obviously been a couple of months since that surgery (I apologize for not updating sooner) but we have been trying to live our life as normal as possible, at least our new normal :-) 
Jerry is still being treated with Chemotherapy one week out of every month.  Basically, Monday through Friday, every 4 weeks.  This is tough on him physically, but he still manages to function on most days like every other day.  He is a man that keeps working through his nausea and headaches,  because  he knows that he has to.  Jerry is self-employed and he does not have the luxury of going on …

Everyday is a gift, a lesson and often a blessing....

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I was a stay at home mom for 17 years, and this past fall, I started working "almost" full time.  I work about 32 hours a week and sometimes more if I'm needed.  For the last week, we have had 3 "snow-days" as well as two additional days off school for "Winter Break".  Because I work for the schools, I have received the same "snow-days" my children have.   I have quickly realized why kids are better off at school all day and not at home.  My two teenagers rarely leave their bedrooms and my two younger ones who "love" to play together cannot stop fighting.  I am thankful that God guided me to a wonderful job/career because I definitely believe that my time as being at home all day with children is over.....
Their is a purpose in me sharing that.  I will get to that later.

These last 6 months feel like a few years, not months to me.  It seems as though there has been so much change and so much going on in our lives, that if we blink, w…

Update since surgery

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So, It's been awhile since I have posted, but that is because we have had a LOT going on.  
Jerry's original surgery went great, but on September 29, I took Jerry to the hospital after suffering from a fever, vomiting and severe swelling of the incision area.  Unfortunately, he ended up being diagnosed with having a STAFF infection and on Thursday October, 1st, he had a second surgery to remove the bone flap that was cut to remove the brain tumor.  The bone flap had to be discarded due to the infection.  For the last 7 weeks, Jerry has been receiving intravenous antibiotics through a PICC line at home.  This last week, he finally had the PICC line removed and he is ready to now move on to the next step of healing and recovery.  He will still need a 3rd surgery to put a new bone flap in, but they will not do that for a couple months because they want to make sure the infection is completely gone before they close in the brain again.  He has a cap with a hard shell in it that he …