Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Update...

Well, it has been a couple of months since I have updated this blog.  I thought today, with the kids being back in school it might be a good day to spend some time updating. 

Jerry has had a fun-filled summer.  We have actually had the opportunity to get away a few times this summer which was nice and refreshing.  After Jerry's appointment in June, which showed a very slight possibility of growth, we were a bit devastated.  But after some time, we both just started going back about our day to day living, just enjoying our family.  We were able to go camping 3 times this summer and we have a weekend getaway planned at the end of summer, so we are excited about that.  With 4 kids in tow, it is the most economical way to go on vacation.  We did, however have an opportunity to go to Branson, Missouri this summer for Jerry's family reunion and that was really fun. 

Today we shipped Hailey, Lizzy and Ashley off to their first day of school for the 2012-2013 school year.  It was a fun morning.  My kids buses are nicely spaced this year, so I am able to spend a decent amount of time with each one before they head off.  Jerry joined me this morning and we went to Ashley's school to send her off to 2nd grade...

 
Jerry's schedule has been very busy this summer.  We have decided to raise our own chickens.  We have raised 40 chickens so far and that has been a lot of work for Jerry.  We currently have 4 laying hens (that just started giving us eggs a few weeks ago).  Jerry has done this pretty much on his own and he is doing a really good job!  We are trying to eat healthier and making sure most of our food is not shot up with hormones and covered in pesticides.  We also had our first garden this year.  Jerry was hesitant on having a garden, but for me, he decided to go for it.  My dad came over with his tractor and dug up a small portion of our yard for our garden.  We planted Corn, Tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, green beans, Leaf Lettuce, bell peppers, radishes and a couple potatoes.  We had GREAT success with our garden this year.  Because it has done so well, we want to double it in size for next year!  I have spent the last few weeks canning tomatoes, salsa, & pickles!  I am currently looking for a good spaghetti sauce recipe to can as well!!

All in all, we are doing great.  Jerry is feeling well.  He takes his medicine every 4.5 hours with the exception of going longer at night so he can sleep.  He is also taking several other herbs that were recommended to be used in conjunction with Protocel.  He currently does not have another MRI scheduled.  His current Dr is pushing radiation and/or surgery and because we are not really moving in that direction, we may need to find a Dr. who is more open to non-traditional treatment.

Please continue to pray for Jerry's healing.  He is a wonderful husband and father and we really want him to be with us for many many more years to come.  Our family would be very broken if he wasn't here to share his life with us. 

We are certain that God has a plan for Jerry's life and Jerry is confident that it isn't going to be over anytime soon.  His positive attitude and outlook is good for all of us. 

We are just resting in His arms.........

Thursday, June 28, 2012

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Well, today is my daughter's 14th birthday.   Happy Birthday Hailey!!

Today is a good day.  It is a good day all around.   We are celebrating my daughters life and we are thankful for every additional year each one of us receives! 

 I was pretty bummed the other day when I wrote my post, but today is a new day, I'm Happy!  Jerry and I have had many conversations over the last couple of days and Jerry has been a huge encouragement to me.  Jerry feels very confident in the fact that he is healed.  That God has already healed him, and that he needs to walk in that faith.  Last night, in our "Life Group" that we are part of, the people there blessed me in ways that they don't even realize.  I have been depressed and less than encouraged lately.  I want my husband to be in my life for many many more years and hearing the Dr say the things he said to us was discouraging.  Last night in our life group I was reminded of God's healing power and that God is in control, God has the answers, and that God is leading our life......NOT the Dr!  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for Doctor's and what they bring mankind, but in this situation....I'm not listening!!  My husband is healed by the great physician and we are walking in that healing.  We are rebuking satan, we are rebuking the idea's that he wants us to believe, mostly that our God is not that big.  Our God is and AWESOME God!  Jerry is in better spirits than he has been lately.  He has definitely rubbed off on me!  I try to be strong and positive for him, but sometimes it just get's so hard.  Jerry has been the one who has been strong lately.  He has been through so much and yet remains positive in the truth that God is who he says he is.  He has a plan and we are trusting in that plan, whatever it may be.  We have already seen God's work in our situation...we have known of people to be saved at our fundraisers and people have been encouraged by Jerry's faith during this ordeal. 

We will continue to walk by faith, each step.....

Monday, June 25, 2012

FAITH

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.
~ Hebrews 11:1,3


This is the scripture that Jerry has been reading over and over these last few weeks.  Our dear neighbor sent this to us in a card, and I don't think she knew that it would be so impacting to Jerry and I.  We both are familiar with scripture and we "know" what the bible says, but this scripture was very powerful to us.  Jerry has been reading it every day.

Before our appointment today, Jerry kept saying "I think God is telling me to walk by faith, not by sight".  I almost hated hearing him say that....cause I knew that if that were true, that if God was telling him that....that it meant that the tumor was still going to be there.

Well, Jerry had his MRI this morning.  The tumor is still intact, and in fact, it appears to be slightly larger in size.  While I was sitting quietly arguing with God about all the "Whys", Jerry sat there calmly discussing treatment options with his Doctor.  When we left, I was quiet.  Jerry went on to remind me that while doing his research on PROTOCEL, it did state that with Brain Tumors, the tumor may never actually disappear and that it may actually increase in size due to inflammation during the process of the cell's dying off period.  Jerry said that it has only been 3 months on PROTOCEL, and he is confident in the treatment regimen that he is on.   

Jerry plans to continue taking PROTOCEL every 4.5 hours, going one stretch of 6 hours during the night....24 hours a day, everyday. 

"Father, help us to live by faith and not by sight.  I recognize that faith is not my wishful thinking but an inward conviction that You will always do what You promise regardless of our circumstances.  Through faith, we declare our weakness and at the same time proclaim the absolute trustworthiness of God and your complete and willing ability to do what we cannot.  Help us, Lord, not to have foolish confidence in ourselves, but always look to You in every part of our lives.  For You are always faithful, and I can count on You.  Praise God, Amen."  
 (This prayer was also part of the card from our neighbor)

In Him......

Monday, June 18, 2012

One Year....

Wow, I really can't believe it has been a year since this roller coaster ride started.  It has been quite a ride, that's for sure.  Jerry and I have learned so much over the last year, not just about health issues, the food we eat, what an Oligoastrocytoma is, or even about medication....we have learned how to cope.  We still struggle with the coping mechanism, but when one of us is down, the other is up....it works out OK that way. 

    A year ago today, Jerry and I were sitting at the hospital wondering what the "mass" in Jerry's brain was and wondering if it was anything to worry about.  We didn't know if it was an infection, or a tumor.  I remember being scared and confused and I remember Jerry was sitting in his bed talking on his phone to his employees, still running his business, hospital gown and all!

    Another memory I have is when Jerry's mom brought our son up to the hospital to see his daddy.  It was an emotional moment.  Brayden was 11 months old and he had absolutely no idea what his daddy was going through.  The only thing he knew was that he hadn't seen much of his mommy or his daddy for the past few days and he was happy to see us. 


In this moment, I cried.....Brayden had seen me a couple of times, but he hadn't seen his daddy at all for a few days since he had been in isolation due to the meningitis......


I'm really glad that a year has passed and we are all doing well.  Brayden is now 23 months old and is a thriving toddler and  his two favorite words are "No" and "Mine"!  (And he really really LOVES spending time with his Daddy)

 


On June 28, Jerry had his biopsy where the Dr's confirmed that this was in fact a Tumor rather then an infection from the meningitis.  The months to follow that have been some of our lowest of low moments and also our highest of high moments.  We have had a couple of fundraisers and in the moments of those fundraisers, as humbling of a position it was to be in them, we were thankful that God had put so many people in our lives to show us his love and in-turn, we could show other's that in the midst of our battle, we are remaining faithful in our belief that God is in control.  One of Jerry's sayings right now is "He can, and he will, but even if he doesn't" .  

The main reason for my post today is to ask everyone for lots of heavy duty prayer for the next week.  God knows what we want, he hears it, but I don't think it hurts to shout it out to him in one accord!  Jerry has an MRI next Monday, June 25th.  We are very nervous, excited, and sick to our stomach's about this MRI.  Our first desire is to see that the tumor has been taken from Jerry's body by our Great Physician,  or at the very least, see that the Protocel is making a change in the size of Jerry's tumor....that the tumor is shrinking.    Whatever the path that God has, please pray for our ability to be able to handle it.  Jerry is really hoping for a moment where he can witness to his Dr who is reading his MRI, and when the Dr says "I don't know what happened, but the tumor is gone", Jerry will be anxiously waiting for this opportunity to tell the Dr. EXACTLY where his tumor went and EXACTLY how it got there....  

Jerry is doing well, in good spirits and working like a mad man!!  Please remember to pray for him and his overall health.  He has a lot of stress in his life with running his business, and then on top of it his body is trying to fight this nasty unwanted group of cancer cells.....his body gets very tired.



Friday, May 18, 2012

Well, it seems that life has been a little crazy lately.  Our oldest daughter is running track, our middle daughter is playing softball and our youngest daughter is in dance and we are attending each ones events as much as we can, all with a 1 year old in tow.....  Jerry has been very tired lately (I can't figure out why? :)  He is a very strong man.  I tell him to skip this practice, or this meet, or this game and he says "No" I get a chance to be a Dad all over again, I'm going to do it right and learn from some of the mistakes I made with my older boys!  From what I hear from Jerry's mom and even his oldest son Brad, he was a wonderful father to his older boys....but isn't it true that as we get older, we do realize some of the mistakes we made and try to do better all over again???  Jerry is a wonderful step father to our girls and a wonderful father to our son.  His older boys are grown and on their own and he loves them both very much and is thankful for them in his life as well.  In regards to his health:  He is still taking his Protocel every 4.5 hours, 12 hrs a day.  He goes for an MRI on June 25, which is almost a year to the date that we found out that he had a brain tumor.  His Biopsy was on June 28, 2011 which did confirm his diagnosis.  Please continue to pray for healing and peace for Jerry.  He and I are both very nervous for his next MRI.  We just talked yesterday about it....he doesn't know what path he will go down if it is still there and has grown.  It can be very depressing at times for him and for me.  The other day he was in another room from me and he hiccuped, and you know that sometimes hiccups can sound pretty weird, I heard it twice and after the second time, I rushed into the room to where he was, the worst was going through my mind (because I didn't know what that crazy sound was).  Any day, and at any time, Jerry could have a seizure, so when I heard that, I freaked, and with my heart pounding I saw that Jerry was sitting there as calm as ever.  I just walked out of the room and couldn't stop the tears from falling down my face.  The fear that overtook me at that moment, at the possibilities of what could be happening overwhelmed me...so much that my emotions took over.  It took me a minute or two to contain myself and then just left the room.  I didn't tell Jerry right away how scared I was.  I felt silly at first thinking that his "hiccup" could scare me so badly, but it is a true reality.  A reality that sometimes I feel very alone in.   This blog is good for me, it is an out....a way for me to vent....bare with me please.

On another note....

I had a nice conversation with my mom today.  I was able to tell her how great of a mom she has always been.  Of course, when my mom looks back, she sees the things that she could have done better, I see a great and loving mom who did the best she could with what she had.  I am truly blessed to have the parents that I have and Jerry is blessed to have the parents he has/had.  Jerry's father passed away several years ago and I hear Jerry constantly say that he never showed his dad the appreciation that he should have.  Jerry loved his dad very much, but got so caught up in his own life, and his own dreams that he feels today that he didn't let his dad know enough how much he meant to him or how much he learned from his dad. 

I guess I take what I hear from Jerry and try to do better with my own kids and parents.  I want them to know how I feel about them.  I want my parents to know that I love and admire them as parents and as a couple.  They are an inspiration.  I want my mother in law to know that I love her and appreciate her very much as well.  I am truly blessed by this life that God has given me.  In mine and Jerry's bible study this week, we talked about the "pearl" in an oyster and how that pearl was developed from a little bit of sand and through the process that God designed, it becomes a beautiful pearl.    How true is that for us as well?  God designed us to be imperfect, full of sin, and to have so many flaws that we need him to perfect us, to turn us into a great "pearl".  Through our imperfections (our sins) he takes those things and makes us stronger, hopeful and more reliant on our One True God.  I'm not sure this is what I was suppose to get out of this weeks class, but this is what I got out of it.  I wake up just about every morning and have to re-forgive myself from mistakes from my past, I have to constantly remind myself that I am beautiful inside and out.  That I have been made perfect in God's eyes and even through my imperfections I am still "fearfully and wonderfully made". 

I guess today I am reminding myself to be thankful for all that I have and even for the imperfections of my past, present and my future.  These imperfections make me realize more every day that I am a sinner in need of Grace.  I love the Lord Jesus, and I am so thankful for the path he has chosen for me.  I want everyday to be a blessing to those around me and to forgive those who hurt me.  I want to completely "Let Go and Let God". 

Romans 8:28 says  "In all things God works for the good of those who love him that are called according to his purpose"

God works in every circumstance, every illness, every trial, every sin and every triumph.  Just listen and you will hear him.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Another Crazy Week!

Well, it was definitely another crazy week in our house!!  Jerry had some infections on his arm that just wouldn't go away.  Being a mechanic, he always has scrapes and scars on his arms and hands...but these just weren't healing like normal.  Wednesday night after spending 2 1/2 hours at our daughters Track meet, we decided to go to Urgent Care.  Jerry could hardly bend his hand and he looked terrible with about 5 different sores on his arm and hand that were infected.  Needless to say, the Dr. diagnosed him with a staff infection.   He has been on antibiotics since Wednesday night and everything already seems to be getting better. 

Jerry has been feeling very tired lately, but other than that, he has been doing well.  He is a hard working guy, so he doesn't rest much as it is.  After learning what we have learned about our diet and nutrition and where our food comes from, we decided to try out raising our own chickens for meat and eggs.  Currently we have 18 "meat" chickens and 5 "laying" hens in our garage waiting anxiously for their new home.  Jerry has been working diligently to get it done.  As I type this, I hear him out there hammering away.   He will probably come in at dark and be so exhausted that he falls right asleep.  I keep saying he needs a break, but I'm not sure I could do what he is doing.  When his plan for the chicken coup is in his "head" it is difficult for anyone else to help anyway :) 

We are trying to prepare a spot in our yard for a garden as well.  We tried a garden a couple of years ago, but it did not go so well.  We want a garden, but Jerry keeps giving me little hints saying "I know I'm not going to have time to weed the garden or take care of it much at all".   He is unsure if I will have the time myself, but I told him today, that "we won't know unless we try".  So hopefully within this next week, we get our garden soil prepared so we can start prepping it for our upcoming garden.  I canned tomatoes for the first time last fall and I'm hoping to grow some of my own tomatoes to can this year. 

Well, I'm trying to be better about posting every now and again.  I had some people worried because I was going so long between posts, they thought things weren't going well.  So, if my post seems boring to you, I apologize, we just have no new news regarding Jerry's Tumor Health.  He does however, have an appointment on June 25 for an MRI, and we are both anxious for him to have this MRI.  We are praying to see a great reduction in the size of his tumor if not complete healing.  We believe that God has the power to heal, and that we have to walk in his healing. 

Matthew 17:20
20 “You don’t have enough faith,” Jesus told them. “I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”
 
 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Jerry has been feeling pretty good lately!  He has been taking Protocel since March 16, and he really feels like it is working.  Our entire family was hit by a bad flu bug last week and it did seem like it took more of a toll on Jerry than it did the rest of us.  It had me a little worried, but I think it was just because his body is working so hard already, and then trying to fight the flu on top of everything else was difficult.  He is better now and seems to be back to himself.  He feels like protocel is helping him in other areas of his wellness as well. 

Sorry for the short updates, but there is just not much to report.....but in this case...no news is usually good news!!

If you want to learn more about protocel and how it works, please click on the link below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nzba8vL_TXc

Monday, April 2, 2012

Our New Family Photo, plus some others taken by our daughter-in-law Nici.






www.nicoledanielsphoto.com  check out Nici's website, she is a very talented photographer!!

Things have been a little quiet here lately, and I haven't posted much.  I don't have a lot of time right now, but I just wanted to let you all know that everything is FINE!  I have had people worried because I haven't posted.  Jerry is scheduled to have another MRI this month, he isn't sure if he is going to get it now, or wait a little longer to see if the new supplement he is taking is working at all.  He is taking something called PROTOCEL.  He has done some research and spoke to I think 4 different people who have taken it for cancer and their cancer is now gone.  It is less expensive than any other non-traditional treatment we have looked into.  What caught our interest with PROTOCEL initally was from a book called "Outsmart your cancer".  I would hightly recommend this book for anyone who is battling some kind of cancer.  Their are several other options out there that your Dr isn't going to tell you about.  I'm sure they believe in what they are doing, but this is looking outside the box, it is non-toxic and has been shown to work. 

Texas is still an option for us in our future, we are waiting to see the outcome of the upcoming court hearing...

I want to say thank you to Kathy from Kahuna Coffee in Hartland for doing a fundraiser for us recently.  We are so grateful for you and we are better people for knowing you.  You are such a kind hearted person and we can only hope to be able to bless others the way you have blessed us.  Thank you!  Also, thanks to Karen for mentioning our name to her :) 

I will post more soon.  Have a Blessed Day!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Texas Trip POSTPONED!

I wanted to update everyone regarding a decision that Jerry and I recently made.  We have decided to hold off on going to Texas until we get a few issues ironed out.

First of all, we found out that Dr. Burzynski is being taken to court by the FDA again this spring and we don't want this to interfere with Jerry's treatment.  We would hate to put forth the amount of money that we need only to find out that we cannot finish the treatment due to FDA interference.

Secondly, when we have spoken to the clinic in regards to Jerry's treatment, they have been very vague regarding the length of time that Jerry would need to be treated for.  We recently spoke to a patient of Dr. Burzynski's that said she has been on the treatment for a few years.  We know that at this time, we couldn't afford this treatment for a couple of years and if that is the case, we want to think more wisely about how to spend the money that we have.

Jerry has learned about another treatment option called PROTOCELL.  He is looking into this treatment and if nothing more, he is considering trying this treatment during our "waiting period" in hopes that at the very least, it will help keep his tumor from growing.

I will post more later, I just wanted to get our news out there....
Thank you everyone for your prayers!

Friday, March 9, 2012

Crumbs in the Peanut Butter Jar!!

OK, so moms are full of wisdom, right?  Well, my mom very recently gave me some words of wisdom...it was a very simple message, but it was true......did I really care if their were crumbs in the peanut butter jar?

Last weekend, we had a fundraiser to raise funds for our upcoming trip to Texas.  The fundraiser was held at our church, which is 45 minutes from our home.  Crazy, I know....but Jerry and I love it there, we feel like we are part of one big family.  Anyway, the fundraiser was held on Saturday evening, and we knew we wouldn't be getting out of there till late that evening...so I asked my parents if my family of 6 could stay with them that Saturday night so that we didn't have to drive 45 minutes home that evening and then 45 minutes back again the next morning for church.  My parents have a large home with 4 bedrooms and they are always eager to have grand kids (& kids) spend the night with them, so as I expected, it was not a problem.  Sunday morning came, and my parents were slaving in the kitchen making scrambled eggs & toast for everyone.  After my children were all fed, I sat down next to my husband at the counter, and started to butter my toast.  To my immediate disappointment, there was jelly in the butter!  Who just used it?  My husband!  I started complaining to my mom about how he leaves crumbs in the peanut butter every morning and how I can't stand it.  I have even purchased a second jar of peanut butter that I "stashed" in the back of the pantry so that I could use a "crumb free" jar of peanut butter when I wanted it.  I continued to complain, got the jelly out of the butter, and then went on and buttered my toast (perfectly of course, with no crumbs or jelly left behind).  I didn't even think about what I had done and how "petty" it was.  My mom pulled me aside and said to me "Lyn, be thankful you have crumbs in your peanut butter jar, it could be different, he could be gone and you wouldn't have that problem anymore".  My mom was right.  My husband is facing a terminal illness, and I'm complaining about him leaving crumbs behind?  The reality though, is that even if my husband didn't have a terminal illness, I shouldn't be complaining of things like this.  I have a job as my husband's wife to lift him up, not put him down, to love him, cherish him and adore him.  I need to be the person that he can be himself around at ALL times and not worry about what I am going to say or think.

I read these passages on www.avirtuouswoman.org

 A Virtuous Woman respects her husband. She does him good all the days of her life. She is trustworthy and a helpmeet. (Proverbs 31: 11- 12, Proverbs 31: 23, Proverbs 31: 28, 1 Peter 3, Ephesians 5, Genesis2: 18)

 A Virtuous Woman serves her husband, her family, her friends, and her neighbors with a gentle and loving spirit. She is charitable. (Proverbs 31: 12, Proverbs 31: 15, Proverbs 31: 20, 1 Corinthians 13: 13)



So, my question for you today:  What do you do or say to your spouse to lift them up?  Do you complain about the little things?  If your spouse wasn't around tomorrow, would you think that complaining about such "things" was worth it? 

We are all human, and we all make mistakes in the daily course of our lives, but I am going to try and be more intentional regarding my husband.  Besides, what husband is going to turn around and love and adore a wife who is always nit picking and complaining?

**********************************************************************************

I also wanted to update everyone regarding our upcoming appointment to Texas.  Jerry is very positive about this trip.  We have seen God work in our lives in many different ways regarding our finances.  Just today, I had a friend donate a large sum of money, and this friend just donated a large sum of money a week ago....I called to thank her, and she stated to me that she is currently looking for a home church so she decided to give her "tithe" to us because she knows that we will give God all the glory for the work being done with the money.  The same day, I opened a bill that I have had and been paying on for a couple of years, and I still owed $800.  There was a note at the bottom saying that my balance was now $0, and that the $800 I owed was "written off".  I sent the company a message telling them "thank you" and the response I received was "Good Luck In Texas".  How did they even know?  God, that is how they knew. 

You can call it a coincidence if you want.  I don't believe it.  I believe God uses obedient people to do his work.

Thank you for being his servants. 

Jerry and I, along with our son and Jerry's mom are leaving for Texas in just over a week.   We will be keeping everyone posted as to how things are going while we are there.  We are excited and anxious to see what God has in store for Jerry.



Friday, February 24, 2012

Appointment with Dr. Burzynski!!

Jerry and I were sitting around the table with our kids on Monday evening.  Ashley, our 7 year old, started telling us about the story she had just learned in Sunday School about Jesus feeding over 5,000 people with only 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread.  Jerry proceeded to tell Ashley what that story means.  He explained to Ashley that it is a story about "faith".  Jesus didn't write down a plan and tell the disciples exactly how he was going to feed 5000 people with 2 fish and 5 loaves, rather he just told them to 'feed the people'.  I was talking to my mom about this story, and she told me (she is Ashley's Sunday school teacher) part of their lesson was about how God uses even children to tell his story, not just grown ups.  I believe that God put that story in Ashley's mind that evening for a reason.  It helped both Jerry and I to remember that we may not have an exact financial plan laid out for us to be able to afford this treatment, but we feel strongly that it is the direction that God wants us to go.  We realize that even though in our human nature, we feel like we need a 'plan', or we need the 'answers' before we do anything, God instructs us to just go, and we need to believe and have faith that he will provide for us.

With that being said, we made an appointment for March 20th to go back to Texas for Jerry's treatment.  We were blessed the first time we went with donated air-fare, lodging, and car rental.  NONE of this is in place for us this time, but we are confident that God will provide this time, just as he did the first time.

Please continue to pray for healing.  Also pray for Jerry and I to have the faith we need to continue to believe that God is in control and that he will provide for us physically and financially.

Special Prayer Request

I am asking prayer today for a young girl.  This young lady was diagnosed with a brain tumor in December 2011.  She had surgery in December where they removed 90% of her tumor.  She was left in a wheel chair with paralysis on her left side. She then proceeded to have chemotherapy and radiation treatments that her Doctors recommended.   This young girl recently went back to the Doctor to have an MRI to check on the tumor after her chemotherapy and radiation therapy.  To her and her families demise, the tumor was back, and it was larger than it was prior to her surgery.

Please remember her and her family in your prayer.

*********************************************************************************

This story really saddens my heart.  This family was given hope by the Doctors with 'Traditional Treatment' and this treatment has failed this young girl.  The statistics that I have come across regarding traditional treatment is not very good at all!  The poison that they put into your body to 'heal' you, or to 'cure' your cancer is so often fatal to the 'good' cells in your body and more often than not, the prognosis is not good.

Jerry and I have done a tremendous amount of research regarding this topic.  When the only treatment options that were given to Jerry were exactly the same as this young girl; surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.  We had a 'gut' feeling that it wasn't the direction that we were suppose to go down.  Dr. Burzynski is one of the Doctors that have come across a different, non-traditional treatment.  A treatment with little to no side affects, with small doses of chemotherapy included.  The small doses of chemotherapy are sometimes only submitted to compromise with the FDA or to do some 'traditional' therapy so that if the first round of Dr. Burzynski's FDA approved therapies don't work, than Dr. Burzynski will petition the FDA to allow the patient to be part of the 'clinical trial' in which will only be allowed if 'traditional' therapies fail.

What Jerry and I think is crazy is that the FDA, the very organization that is allowing all the toxins in our food, the very food that is killing Americans everyday, is the same organization that controls the very drugs that we need because of the food that is killing our bodies.  Also, the FDA's primary source of funding is through the very pharmaceutical companies that they control.  Seems like a conflict of interest to us!  How many times do we see new drug's advertised on TV, only to watch an advertisement later with a 'law suit' out because of a drug that has had fatal side affects.  I think we need to be cautious of the drugs that we put into our bodies and we need to do our own research.  I would suggest that everyone do their own research, don't take my word for it, I may not have all the facts correct, but to the best of my knowledge, and in my own personal opinion......the FDA is not to be trusted!!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Happiness

Jerry and I had a wonderful weekend with our Family.  On Saturday we celebrated Ashley's 7 1/2 birthday!  Her birthday was in August, and it just got overlooked because of all the stress we were under at the time.  I told Ashley that we would have a party for her during the school year, and she was happy with that.  What a joy it was to see her so happy.  Jerry and I, with the assistance of my 11 year old daughter, watched 6 little happy 6 & 7 year olds pin the tail on the donkey, break open a pinata ,play musical chairs, play hot potato, jump on our trampoline, and dig into a delicious ice cream cake.   On Sunday we celebrated our "February" birthdays with my side of the family.  Our family is so large, that we have birthdays just about every month of the year!  To make it more simple, we get together once a month and celebrate.  We don't purchase expensive gifts, we just get together and enjoy each other.  Seeing the joy on my daughters face Saturday, and having my family over on Sunday, made me really think about what is so easily missed when you are under the kind of stress we are under right now. Putting aside everything we are going through and just enjoying our life was the perfect medicine for me! 

Jerry is becoming more certain everyday of the path that he wants to take regarding treatment.  When we first came back from the Burzynski clinic he had serious doubts.  He didn't know if the expense was worth it.  As time has went on and more research has been done, he is even more confident now in proceeding with Dr. Burzynski's treatment plan.  Jerry does not qualify for any of Dr. Burzynski's clinical trials because of the fact that Jerry has not had any "traditional" treatment thus far.  To qualify, you have to had tried traditional treatment, and it had to fail in order to qualify.  Because of this, Dr. Burzynski is putting Jerry on a very low dose of chemotherapy during his treatment of gene targeted therapy which is FDA approved.  If this treatment doesn't work, he will then submit to the FDA to see if he will qualify since he did the traditional chemotherapy.

Jerry is getting closer to making his decision on a date to start treatment.  He is just very concerned with his business and his employees being out of work during his treatment in Texas which could last up to 3 weeks.

Thank you for following my posts.  It is such a good outlet for me to express my thoughts and feelings.  I'm not a professional in any way, just a mom and a wife that wants to enjoy a long life with my husband and children. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

Clarity

OK, we need some serious prayer right now.  Prayer for clarity. 

Jerry is now so "over the top stressed" about the money involved, that he can't sleep, he can't work, he really isn't functioning well at all. 

He is not certain what to do.  There are cheaper treatments, or there is the option to do nothing.  He has seriously considered doing nothing.

As his wife, I try to listen, but I'm getting concerned.  We are trying to shuffle through medical bills, filling out paperwork to see if the hospitals will work with us financially, dealing with different charities and we are just getting really extremely overwhelmed.

If you can take a moment and just pray for clarity and direction we would appreciate it.

Friday, February 10, 2012

I Love my husband and I don't want him to give up!

The title to this blog may seem strange, but it is just my feelings coming out.  Jerry is becoming overwhelmingly stressed in regards to the amount of money that we are needing for his treatment.   He stated to me tonight that it's pretty crazy that he is more afraid of what this is going to do to us financially than what he is really thinking about what the tumor can do if we don't do anything about it.

We spent about 3 1/2 hours at the Burzynski clinic and the appointment was going really well.  We met with the Dr's and they discussed with Jerry and I a treatment plan that seems acceptable to us. Gene-Targeted Therapy.  We felt as thought the Dr's there were compassionate and caring, in fact, the entire staff was really "likeable".  We read stories of success, and had a really confident feeling.....then we met with the financial advisor.  We needed $1250 for today's consultation, $3500 for lab work, $10,000 when we come back to have his treatment started, stay there for 6-21 days (so Jerry will be out of work during this time, we will have no income) and then when he is sent home, he will pay $4500 a month for Dr. Burzynski's drug called sodium phenylbutyrate, and their monthly case management fees.  He will also be prescribed several other drugs to take (we will not know these until the labwork comes back) which we will have to pay for, but we may be able to seek help from the drug companies for these drugs.  Jerry will also have to have a local Dr. that is willing to write him his prescriptions once he is home, so we will have Dr. office bills as well.  He then will have to get an MRI every two to three months as well, that will at least cost $3500 each time.   

It may seem as thought I am complaining, in a way, I guess I am...but my intention is to simply state the financial facts.  I do want to make it clear though, that we believe in what Dr. Burzynski is doing, and we believe that he and his staff deserve to be paid for what they are doing.  We are in no way bashing Dr. Burzynski's clinic, but when it comes to our personall finances, we are SCARED!!  We have been tremendously helped over the last few months with many acts of kindness financially and we couldn't be more thankful for all of that, but we are still so far away from what we need.  We believe that Dr. Burzynski's treatment could very well cure Jerry with little to no side affects.  This option seems so much better to us than what the "Traditional" Dr's have suggested.  What really makes us angry is that Dr. Burzynski has a clinical trial right now that would probably cost us half the amount of money because the drug itself would be free, but the FDA will not allow someone to make their own decision in regards to their own medical treatment...Jerry would have had to have done the traditional treatment, and that treatment would have had to have failed in order to qualify for the clinical trial.  Jerry made a good statement to me today, he said "the FDA tells us what we can't do in regards to treatment, but if I were to decide to do nothing, and die, they wouldn't care"  It really makes us angry that we live in a country that is suppose to be founded on our freedom, but it seems that anymore, freedom doesn't exist!  Money is what our country is now founded on, nothing more. 

OK, my moment of rage is over, for now anyway.  I need to stay focused on what I CAN do, not what I CAN'T!  I told Jerry that we need to just face this thing head on, do what we can, make the appropriate adjustments in our life financially, do more fundraisers...whatever we need to do..  We need to stay positive and pro-active in his treatment, and more importantly, his life! 

Jerry and I come home tomorrow afternoon, we plan to pick up our beautiful son and enjoy him.  Sunday we will be picking up my girls and we will be living our life.  We will be making plans for another trip to Texas within the next couple of weeks.  We have a lot of planning to do regarding our children, and our business.  Please continue to pray for direction.  I want this to affect the children in our home as little as possible.  I do not want their childhood to be overlooked while we are dealing with all of this.  Next weekend, we are having Ashley's "half" birthday party.  Her birthday was over the summer and though it was not overlooked, it was not really celebrated.  Jerry and I were emotionally and physically drained during this time, and we were not thinking clearly.  I promised Ashley we would celebrate it, so her "half" birthday seemed appropriate!  Jerry and I both appreciate every act of kindness that has been sent our way.  Everything helps, every financial contribution, every word of encouragement, and every whispered prayer.  Thank You!

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

We leave tomorrow......

I thought I would update, since I haven't been on here in awhile.  Jerry and I are leaving in the morning for Texas.  We have an appointment with Dr. Burzynski on Friday at 10:30.  We are very anxious for our appointment.  We plan to ask a lot of questions!!    Hopefully the clarity we are looking for will be found while we are there.  Jerry is still unsure whether or not he is willing to fork out the money they are asking for up front for the treatment.  Hopefully their answers will give him the comfort that he needs.  When we get back and the decision is made on what road we will be traveling down regarding treatment, I will post and let everyone know. 

Jerry and I couldn't be more grateful for the generosity of so many people in our lives.  Up until today, our flight was paid for (by a very generous friend) , our room was paid for (by a charity that I applied for called CincoCharities), and then of course, with the tremendous amount of financial support, our appointment is taken care of financially.  The only thing that we were going to have to pay for in regards to this trip was our rental car and food.  So, very minimal.  I received a call this morning from a good friend of Jerry's and he expressed to me that he wanted to take care of our rental car and food!  I was silent at first, this outpouring of love is sometimes hard to swallow...I told him that he didn't have to do it.  His response was "let me do this for Jerry and you".  I humbly and gratefully took his offer.  We are in a position of need, a place that neither Jerry or I have ever been in before, and it is quite a humbling experience.  THANK YOU to everyone who has contributed to Jerry's life including help with this trip.  We are trusting in our Heavenly Father and praying that he will take favor on Jerry's life.

Blessings to all, pray for a safe and successful trip...that our minds will be clear....

Friday, January 27, 2012

Update on how Jerry is doing...

I haven't posted anything personal for awhile, so I thought I would let all of you know how Jerry is doing on a day to day basis.  For the most part, he is doing REALLY well.  He is tired, don't know if that is from old age or his tumor :), but it could very well be because his body is working overtime trying to control this crazy group of unwanted cells!!  Every once in a while, Jerry will complain of a headache or a neck ache.  I try not to express my fear, but when I took him to the hospital, it was from a severe head and neck ache combined with a high fever.  Just last night, he wasn't feeling well and went up to bed about 10 minutes before I did.  While he was up there, I heard a big "thump" on the floor, my heart sank.  Come to find out, he was putting the laundry basket on the floor that I had forgotten about and left on our bed.  WHEW..... When I came to bed I told him what I had thought, and he told me that I should probably do some reading on Grand Mal Seizures.  You see, I like to deal with this with complete denial most of the time.  I don't really want to think about the things that "could" and very well "may" happen.  I just want to imagine us 20-30 years down the road....together!! 

Jerry is being very optimistic right now.  He is scared, but positive.  We have an appointment on February 10th with Dr. Burzynski for an office consultation.  They have his MRI scans and are getting what they need from the hospital prior to our appointment.  Jerry is convinced that after meeting with Dr. Burzynski he will have more clarity regarding the direction he should go down regarding treatment.  He is hoping that after discussing things with Dr. Burzynski, he will either feel confident that the amount of money the Dr is asking for is what is needed for the treatment necessary, or he will decide to come home and deal with this the more traditional way with Surgery, chemotherapy and radiation.  He has been watching a lot of video's on line from Matt Chandler, a preacher who has fought a brain tumor, and is still fighting....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sct5ZEt0ps4
Watching these videos has brought Jerry some peace and contentment and also helped him to give this all to Jesus. 

Jerry and I are involved with a small group on Wednesday evenings.  They have prayed over him a few different times now, along with our church family and also another minister.  Every time, Jerry feels so much peace.  I believe he is starting to become more content with what "God's plan" is instead of his own.

***
Several of our dear friends from the church Jerry and I had previously attended put on a benefit for Jerry this past Saturday.  Let me say, this was an extremely successfull event.  Not only did it give us a tremendous amount of financial support, more importantly, we have heard of so many different people that were touched that evening by the Holy Spirit.  PRAISE GOD!  This is what Jerry has wanted from the very beginning of this.  He has stated to me several times that he believes God has a purpose in all of this, a purpose to help people see the grace, peace, mercy and so much more that our heavenly father has to offer each and every one of us!!  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts, to everyone who put so much time and effort into this benefit.  You will never know how much it meant to both Jerry and myself!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Education or Medication?

Jerry and I have become obsessed with finding out what is healthy for our bodies.  Some people just have this natural tendency to do this, but for us, it took a crisis.  We are learning so much about nutrition, vitamins, the food we should eat, and the food we shouldn't eat.  We are learning that there are so many things that we can do for ourselves to help prevent cancer from even having the ability to create itself in our bodies.  I watched a video on line the other day of a woman who had a hamburger from a fast food restaurant that was 4 years old.  The hamburger was still intact with no mold on it.  The french fry that came with that hamburger was still yellow in color and also had no mold on it.  I'm to the point that I don't even consider fast food, "food" at all.  What is it that we are poisoning our bodies with?  One of the documentary's that we recently watched is called:  FOODMATTERS
http://www.foodmatters.tv/
I would strongly encourage you to view this documentary.  In a collection of interviews with leading Nutritionists, Naturopaths, Scientists, M.D.'s and Medical Journalists you will discover scientifically verifiable solutions for overcoming illness naturally.

Another documentary we recently viewed was called Food, Inc.
http://www.foodincmovie.com/
Food, Inc. exposes America's industrialized food system and its effect on our environment, health, economy and workers' rights.
It was extremely informative in regards to where our industry's "meat" is coming from.  We don't seem to raise our chickens, pigs, or cattle on a pasture anymore....to meet the high demands that our country has, especially from fast food chains, has caused our "meat" to be raised in "Factory's".  It is extremely inhumane and disgusting to treat a living creature this way.  There is a lot of toxins that are entering our body through what we think is "good" when we are eating vegetables as well.  I am thankful to be educating myself in this area.  I hope to teach my kids a few things about health and nutrition through all of this and I hope they do not have to have a crisis in their life to realize that a change needs to be made for them as well.

Life is fragile, and if we mistreat our bodies, we will definitely have shorter lives!  We are hoping that making changes in Jerry's nutritional health now, can make a change for his current and future health.  We are not saying that Dr's are not good hearted, well meaning people, but from what we have discovered...unless you are going to school for nutrition itself, Dr's are not educated on nutrition.  It seems like a no-brainer to me.  What we are putting in our bodies is so important and critical in regards to our health.

When Jerry had his appointment at Henry Ford Hospital with the top Neurosurgeon there, and also the Vice President of the hospital, we asked about nutrition.  We asked him how important he thought it was for Jerry to stay away from sugar (which is known and proven to feed cancer), or to eat a specific "diet" for someone who is fighting cancer.  The Dr's answer went something like this:  Well, it is important for all of us to eat healthy and to exercise, but there isn't anything you can do nutritionally to help yourself with what you already have. 

On February 10, Jerry has an appointment with Dr. Burzynski in Texas, and we were already told that he will be seeing a dietician as part of their treatment plan.

We are trying to do our homework.  If anyone out there has information that you think we would be interested in, please let me know!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

GOD, Are you out there?

Have you ever had this thought?  I have, way too many times.  Personally, I don't believe God gets angry at us for questioning things, that means we aren't stagnant in our faith.  We are striving to understand, striving to know more so that we can do more.  I have never questioned God's existence, but I have wondered why he lets things happen to people.  I prayed for years for things that I still haven't seen answers for, or have I?  That is the real question.  I believe God is answering our prayers all around us and we just don't know it.  Have you ever had an experience in your life where at the time, you could not see his handy work, but when you looked back....you could see just what he was doing?  Well, I guess I'm there right now.  I cannot see his handy work in my husband having a brain tumor.  If he is the "All Powerful God"  the "Great Physician", why isn't he fixing my husband?  I'm reminded of this scripture:

Hebrews 11:6
New Living Translation (NLT)
6 And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.
 
I'm reminded that "Faith" is what we need to strive for.  Our Faith is being tested, but again, I lean on scripture:
 
James 1:3
New Living Translation (NLT)
3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
 
God has given us a library to use when we don't understand the circumstances in our lives.  That Library is called "The Bible".  Sixty Six different books with different stories, different messages from God, direction, instruction and so much more.  I often rely on other things to sustain my beliefs, but the reality is that the Bible is all I really need to lean on.  I have been indulging in the Bible more lately.  Trying to find answers that will satisfy me.  Trying to understand God's purpose in all of this.  I am left with more questions than answers in the end.  I'm left wanting to know more, wanting to seek him more, wanting to trust him more.
 
 
 

Friday, January 13, 2012

*FUNDRAISER* Hartland/Fenton Area!

When:    Saturday January 21

Where:  Heritage Hills Free Methodist Church   5530 Runyan Lk Rd Fenton

Time:    6pm

There will be several different bands coming to play country/gospel/bluegrass.  Jerry is in one of the bands that will be playing called Crossfire.

There will be a bake sale and I believe a silent auction as well.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Thankful for friends

Today I am really being reminded of how important it is to have family and friends in our lives.  Over the last month, Jerry and I have been overwhelmed with generosity from many people, several that we don't even know.  We are so thankful for our friends and our family and even our community!  In December I was sent a message by a stranger who is in the same group as me on facebook called "Hartland Moms"  She told me that they were making up t-shirts, and giving the proceeds to my family for Jerry's medical expenses.  WOW, I thought to myself....you don't know me, or my husband and if you did....well, you might not want to do all this for us.  Yes, I actually thought that!  We don't deserve this, but in the same token, we do need it.  Swallowing your pride can be very difficult at times, but in these circumstances, it is a small price to pay.   We were then approached by two of my daughters schools saying they wanted to have a fundraiser for us.  Again, we were left feeling speechless and extremely humbled.  Jerry's (and my) daughter in law made up some prints with a quote on it that Jerry had once said to me, and she too offered us the proceeds from this project sale.  Here is the link if you are interested:   http://endephoto.tumblr.com/post/13635912510/for-jerry
I have been guided by complete strangers to different charity organizations that may be willing to help, and have even been offered a photography session for FREE from someone who works with different charity organizations.
We have received various letters in the mail over the last 6 months or so, letters of encouragement, prayer and even financial contributions.  For ALL of this, we are thankful!  We have most recently been encouraged by a good friend who is organizing a fundraiser at his church, Heritage Hills Free Methodist Church in Fenton.  I don't have all the details, but I do know that he has several different bands lined up to play music, Jerry is in one of those bands.  Jerry and I also plan to do a couple of songs at the end of the fundraiser as a way of saying "Thank You".  This fundraiser is on January 21 from 6-9 pm with a bakesale included.
Anyway, to all of our friends who have encouraged Jerry and continue to let God's love shine through you in your acts of love and kindness, we appreciate you.  God does his work through ordinary people, we often want to invision God's work being done by "special powers" or people of certain training...but it isn't true, he uses us, each and every one of us.   Jerry and I have seen his work being done in our lives, we pray that we are able to give in the same way.  We just need to listen and be obedient to his calling.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Crying

We all cry, right?  Well, over the last...I'd say 5 years....I've done a lot of that!  Going through a divorce, dealing with decisions I made, getting married, having a baby...then of course, finding out my husband has a brain tumor.  People cry, but I CRY!!  If you know me at all, you know that I am like an emotional waterfall....when I'm happy, sad, scared, mad...it all comes out in tears.  There have been times that I felt guilty for crying, but then I remember that God made me just the way that I am suppose to be.   Did you know that it is a proven fact that crying reduces emotional stress, lowers your blood pressure, it removes toxens from your body that come out through your tears during emotional stress, it reduces the body’s manganese level, a mineral which affects mood and is found in up to 30 times greater concentration in tears than in blood serum, and it is also proof that you are human!

Anyway, I just had to write that because I thought it was pretty neat myself...

A friend of mine introduced Jerry and I to a book called "Knockout", by Suzanne Somers. I would highly recommend you read this book.  It is a book about Dr's who are curing cancer, and also ways to be proactive in preventing yourself from getting cancer.   
http://www.suzannesomers.com/Knockout/
This book has been very informative for us.  The reason we started reading the book was because Dr. Burzynski was interviewed for her book and we wanted to read about that, but the book has had so much more information regarding health.  There is even a Dr. in there that studies crying and talks about the positive health benefits to crying. 

I want to write more, but my son is pulling on my arms...he doesn't want me to be on the computer any longer.  :)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

I can't wait till this feeling passes....

When Jerry and I found out that he had a brain tumor, it was tough.  I would not let it show around him much, but as soon as I would get into the car and I was alone.....the tears would start shedding.  I'm a pretty emotional person already, so this is tough for me.  I try not to let my emotions show in front of my children either....I want them to not be afraid.  They are pretty oblivious.  My daughters "know" that he has a brain tumor, but I don't think they understand what it all means.  I think kids have a hard time seeing into the future with things like this.  Sometimes I wish I had a harder time.  I wish I could just live, and enjoy my family.  The feelings that both Jerry and I are having right now are very similar to the feelings we had when we first found everything out.  I guess it is just going to be expected from this point further.  It's almost like we live in denial in-between Dr. visits, then when we go, we get a reminder of how serious this is, and this time, the reality that it could get worse has faced us head on! 
I decided I wanted to post some pictures of Jerry "living" since he found out he had the his brain tumor...


This is a picture of Jerry at the hospital, before his Biopsy was done.


This is a picture of Jerry, myself and my oldest daughter on July 1, 4 days after Jerry's biopsy surgery and Hailey's 13th birthday.  It worked out that Hailey was at Church Camp that week, so her birthday was not really affected by the surgery.  We sent her a gift with a friend and her dad sent her a cake, so she definitely felt the love that day!


 Ironically...as if we hadn't been through enough, our son was admitted into the hospital 6 days before his birthday July 10 with an intussusception, and became severely dehydrated and was there for 4 days.


This picture was taken at our sons 1st birthday party in July. 


These pictures did cheer me up a bit.....give me a day or so...and I will be posting more happy thoughts :)

Friday, January 6, 2012

So Confused!

Well, Jerry had an appointment this morning with a new Neurosurgeon and we didn't really like what he had to say, although we did feel confident in his professionalism and his experience.  He is waiting for a few tests to come back that they ran from the biopsy tissue slides, but he has a strong suspicion that they tumor has changed or is in the process of changing from a Grade II to a Grade III.  Basically his explanation to us (which has been different from every Dr) was that Grade I & Grade II Brain Tumors are considered Benign but can change.  Grade III & Grade IV are considered malignant and have to be treated more aggressively.   If malignant, that means that the cells are changing and spreading more rapidly than they were before.  It is to be believed that Jerry has had this brain tumor for approximately 10-15 years already. 

So, at our appointment, we decided to ask about Dr. Burzynski and what he thought about alternative treatment.  Well, I won't repeat the Dr, but he didn't have anything good to say.  It didn't really change our thoughts on getting a consultation at Dr. Burzynski's clinic, because we know that conventional Dr's don't like him and have been trying to throw him in prison for years.  In saying that, we did receive a call from Dr. Burzynski's clinic, they did receive all Jerry's information and they are proceeding with getting the medical records they need from his biopsy and MRI's.  We are still going to see what they have to say.

So, as I said in the opening, we are still so confused and unsure.  We do know though that we are not giving up the fight.  Jerry is a little depressed today, which seems to be the case whenever we come home from Dr. Apts.  It is like a true reminder of how serious this is and how his life could be cut shorter than he wants it to be.  I am trying to be his strength and trying to not let my own emotions get in the way.  

Send up a prayer tonight if you would.  A prayer not only for strength, peace of mind, and stronger faith, but also a prayer for us because we are going to have 2 extra 13 year olds and 2 extra 11 year olds in the house tonight....and they are all GIRLS...... DRAMA!!!!   HA HA Peace Out!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

More Information...

In August of 2011, we decided to get a second opinion regarding treatment.  The first Dr. we saw seemed uncertain as to what avenue we should take.  He consulted his "Brain Tumor Board" and half said surgery was a good option, and the other half said that just Chemotherapy and Radiation were a good option.  His advice to us was "I'm on the fence, I'm not sure what you should do".....????  Really?  I understand that Dr's have a difficult job and they don't always know what to do, so I guess I can appreciate his honesty, but we needed more clarity as to what direction to go into.  We had another apt with him 3 weeks later and he said that he was more certain now that surgery was a good option, and that chemo and radiation would be pointless.  Understand, that this is coming from a "Neurosurgeon", this is what he does.  We didn't feel confident.  So, now it is August 1, and we went to a new Dr.  A Neurologist.  He seemed confident and experienced.  His advise was the total opposite of the first Dr.  He said that surgery was way too risky and that chemotherapy and radiation would be a good option.  So we left this Dr with no more certainty with what to do than after the first. 

Jerry started reading a lot on diet at this point, and figured that maybe he could find some nutritional changes that he could make.  He started out by doing the Budwig Diet http://www.cancure.org/budwig_diet.htm , which consists of cottage cheese, flaxseed oil, & flaxseeds. He tried this diet for the next few months, and he doesn't even like cottage cheese.  I knew he was serious when I saw him doing this every day.  He also learned about the positive benefits of Apricot Kernels & Laetrile http://www.cancure.org/laetrile.htm so he eats a few of those every day now too. 

In the process of all this information, we learned about Dr. Burzynski, in Texas.  http://www.burzynskiclinic.com/  we even met a woman from our area who has been to Dr. Burzynski and has been cured of her cancer.  She told us a story about a family memeber of hers who also had a brain tumor and went to Dr. Burzynski and has been free of his tumor for over 10 years now.   

In December 2011, Jerry had another MRI and was very anxious to find out if there were any changes to the tumor with all the nutritional things that he had been doing.  We were devastated to find out that there was no change, and if there was any, it was that it had grown slightly.  As of today, Jerry has not done the Budwig diet anymore, but is still eating flaxseed with many of his foods, and he is still eating the apricot kernels. 

The last week of December, we sent all the paperwork to Dr. Burzynski's clinic and as of today, we are waiting to hear back from them.  We will be contacting them next week if we don't hear back.

My Mind.....it doesn't stop

June 19, 2011   I remember the day so clearly, my husband of 1 year & 8 months were sitting in the hospital room after my husband was admitted with Meningitis symptoms.  The Dr. came in to tell us that there is a "lesion" on his brain.  I didn't know what to think at first.  I wasn't sure how to react.  They said it could be an infection, or it could be a tumor.  We waited for the results of his first MRI, our emotions were running high, but I was trying to be strong for him.  Trying not to let my fear and pain show.  It was his tumor, not mine....I needed to be strong for him.  The results came in.  "It looks like a tumor" says the Neurologist.  They recommended that we go to a different hospital to have a biopsy done.  They performed a biopsy and the results were in;  Grade II Oligoastrocytoma.  When my husband wasn't looking, I cried, I was scared.

My husbands biopsy was done on June 28, 2011.  My oldest daughters 13th birthday.  It was suppose to be a day of celebrating her life, instead it was a day of fearing her step fathers, my husbands life.  In just a few short weeks, we were suppose to be celebrating our sons 1 year birthday, and a month after that, my youngest daughters 7th birthday....I wasn't sure how to approach all of this with the news we had received.

My husband and I were married in October 2009.  I had 3 daughters from my previous marriage, and he had 2 sons from his.  My girls are still in our home, ages 13, 11, & 7.  His sons are in their 20's, one is married, the other lives with his mother.  Eight months prior to our marriage, my husband lost his job of 27 years at General Motors.  He was "fired" for taking time off work due to his divorce months earlier.  It was a wrongful termination.  He was devastated.  GM was in the process of their Bankruptcy, bad timing for my husband I guess.  Thankfully he had years of experience working as an auto mechanic, a skill he learned from his own father working in the garage as a young boy.  He did what he had to do to survive, he was a hard worker, and at his age, getting a job somewhere was difficult, so he started his own Auto Repair business.  He became certified by the state, and was on his way to success.  With having his own business came many benefits, choosing his own hours, his own pay, doing what he wanted to do, working in his own way.  The dowside was....no health insurance.  We had insurance on our son, and my daughters were covered by their father, but he and I had no health insurance.  We had been researching, but putting off the cost, not seeing it's importance at the time.  As you can guess, we are struggling to pay our medical bills now.  Doing what we can, Dr's and hospital staff deserve to be paid for their services.

We came home from the hospital in dispair.  The first few weeks we were home, he cried, then I cried.  When one of us was strong, the other was weak.  "I don't want to loose my best friend", "I don't want my son to loose his father at such a young age".  My husband was scared, he was scared for his life, and he was scared for me, our son, his sons, and my daughters whom had grown to love him very much.  We were scared about money.  How are we going to pay for all of this....  Time went by, we figured out how to continue to live, how to make it through each day.  We have a marriage built on faith.  We believe in the Love and the truth of our Heavenly Father.  We don't understand how it all works, but we believe in him.  We believe in Jesus Christ, we believe in God, & we believe in the Holy Spirit.  We also believe that we have to take control of our own lives.  We can't sit back and wait for things to happen for us....we are on a journey.  My husbands survival of 7 years is not good enough for us....we are going to do something.  We are going to be proactive in his recovery.  We are researching, we are discovering.  This Blog is to inform you of the things we discover and the things we are doing.  We have time that some people don't have.  Some people are told they have only months to live.  We have been blessed with time, and we are going to try and use this time wisely. 

This is for you Jerry, I Love you with all my heart, with everything I am, and with every good thing you bring out of me.  I need you in my life.....we can do this, together, we can do this!