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Showing posts from January, 2012

Update on how Jerry is doing...

I haven't posted anything personal for awhile, so I thought I would let all of you know how Jerry is doing on a day to day basis.  For the most part, he is doing REALLY well.  He is tired, don't know if that is from old age or his tumor :), but it could very well be because his body is working overtime trying to control this crazy group of unwanted cells!!  Every once in a while, Jerry will complain of a headache or a neck ache.  I try not to express my fear, but when I took him to the hospital, it was from a severe head and neck ache combined with a high fever.  Just last night, he wasn't feeling well and went up to bed about 10 minutes before I did.  While he was up there, I heard a big "thump" on the floor, my heart sank.  Come to find out, he was putting the laundry basket on the floor that I had forgotten about and left on our bed.  WHEW..... When I came to bed I told him what I had thought, and he told me that I should probably do some reading on Grand Mal …

Education or Medication?

Jerry and I have become obsessed with finding out what is healthy for our bodies.  Some people just have this natural tendency to do this, but for us, it took a crisis.  We are learning so much about nutrition, vitamins, the food we should eat, and the food we shouldn't eat.  We are learning that there are so many things that we can do for ourselves to help prevent cancer from even having the ability to create itself in our bodies.  I watched a video on line the other day of a woman who had a hamburger from a fast food restaurant that was 4 years old.  The hamburger was still intact with no mold on it.  The french fry that came with that hamburger was still yellow in color and also had no mold on it.  I'm to the point that I don't even consider fast food, "food" at all.  What is it that we are poisoning our bodies with?  One of the documentary's that we recently watched is called:  FOODMATTERS
http://www.foodmatters.tv/
I would strongly encourage you to view t…

GOD, Are you out there?

Have you ever had this thought?  I have, way too many times.  Personally, I don't believe God gets angry at us for questioning things, that means we aren't stagnant in our faith.  We are striving to understand, striving to know more so that we can do more.  I have never questioned God's existence, but I have wondered why he lets things happen to people.  I prayed for years for things that I still haven't seen answers for, or have I?  That is the real question.  I believe God is answering our prayers all around us and we just don't know it.  Have you ever had an experience in your life where at the time, you could not see his handy work, but when you looked back....you could see just what he was doing?  Well, I guess I'm there right now.  I cannot see his handy work in my husband having a brain tumor.  If he is the "All Powerful God"  the "Great Physician", why isn't he fixing my husband?  I'm reminded of this scripture:

Hebrews 11:6
Ne…

*FUNDRAISER* Hartland/Fenton Area!

When:    Saturday January 21

Where:  Heritage Hills Free Methodist Church   5530 Runyan Lk Rd Fenton

Time:    6pm

There will be several different bands coming to play country/gospel/bluegrass.  Jerry is in one of the bands that will be playing called Crossfire.

There will be a bake sale and I believe a silent auction as well.

Thankful for friends

Today I am really being reminded of how important it is to have family and friends in our lives.  Over the last month, Jerry and I have been overwhelmed with generosity from many people, several that we don't even know.  We are so thankful for our friends and our family and even our community!  In December I was sent a message by a stranger who is in the same group as me on facebook called "Hartland Moms"  She told me that they were making up t-shirts, and giving the proceeds to my family for Jerry's medical expenses.  WOW, I thought to myself....you don't know me, or my husband and if you did....well, you might not want to do all this for us.  Yes, I actually thought that!  We don't deserve this, but in the same token, we do need it.  Swallowing your pride can be very difficult at times, but in these circumstances, it is a small price to pay.   We were then approached by two of my daughters schools saying they wanted to have a fundraiser for us.  Again, we w…

Crying

We all cry, right?  Well, over the last...I'd say 5 years....I've done a lot of that!  Going through a divorce, dealing with decisions I made, getting married, having a baby...then of course, finding out my husband has a brain tumor.  People cry, but I CRY!!  If you know me at all, you know that I am like an emotional waterfall....when I'm happy, sad, scared, mad...it all comes out in tears.  There have been times that I felt guilty for crying, but then I remember that God made me just the way that I am suppose to be.   Did you know that it is a proven fact that crying reduces emotional stress, lowers your blood pressure, it removes toxens from your body that come out through your tears during emotional stress, it reduces the body’s manganese level, a mineral which affects mood and is found in up to 30 times greater concentration in tears than in blood serum, and it is also proof that you are human!

Anyway, I just had to write that because I thought it was pretty neat myse…

I can't wait till this feeling passes....

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When Jerry and I found out that he had a brain tumor, it was tough.  I would not let it show around him much, but as soon as I would get into the car and I was alone.....the tears would start shedding.  I'm a pretty emotional person already, so this is tough for me.  I try not to let my emotions show in front of my children either....I want them to not be afraid.  They are pretty oblivious.  My daughters "know" that he has a brain tumor, but I don't think they understand what it all means.  I think kids have a hard time seeing into the future with things like this.  Sometimes I wish I had a harder time.  I wish I could just live, and enjoy my family.  The feelings that both Jerry and I are having right now are very similar to the feelings we had when we first found everything out.  I guess it is just going to be expected from this point further.  It's almost like we live in denial in-between Dr. visits, then when we go, we get a reminder of how serious this is, a…

So Confused!

Well, Jerry had an appointment this morning with a new Neurosurgeon and we didn't really like what he had to say, although we did feel confident in his professionalism and his experience.  He is waiting for a few tests to come back that they ran from the biopsy tissue slides, but he has a strong suspicion that they tumor has changed or is in the process of changing from a Grade II to a Grade III.  Basically his explanation to us (which has been different from every Dr) was that Grade I & Grade II Brain Tumors are considered Benign but can change.  Grade III & Grade IV are considered malignant and have to be treated more aggressively.   If malignant, that means that the cells are changing and spreading more rapidly than they were before.  It is to be believed that Jerry has had this brain tumor for approximately 10-15 years already. 

So, at our appointment, we decided to ask about Dr. Burzynski and what he thought about alternative treatment.  Well, I won't repeat the …

More Information...

In August of 2011, we decided to get a second opinion regarding treatment.  The first Dr. we saw seemed uncertain as to what avenue we should take.  He consulted his "Brain Tumor Board" and half said surgery was a good option, and the other half said that just Chemotherapy and Radiation were a good option.  His advice to us was "I'm on the fence, I'm not sure what you should do".....????  Really?  I understand that Dr's have a difficult job and they don't always know what to do, so I guess I can appreciate his honesty, but we needed more clarity as to what direction to go into.  We had another apt with him 3 weeks later and he said that he was more certain now that surgery was a good option, and that chemo and radiation would be pointless.  Understand, that this is coming from a "Neurosurgeon", this is what he does.  We didn't feel confident.  So, now it is August 1, and we went to a new Dr.  A Neurologist.  He seemed confident and exp…

My Mind.....it doesn't stop

June 19, 2011   I remember the day so clearly, my husband of 1 year & 8 months were sitting in the hospital room after my husband was admitted with Meningitis symptoms.  The Dr. came in to tell us that there is a "lesion" on his brain.  I didn't know what to think at first.  I wasn't sure how to react.  They said it could be an infection, or it could be a tumor.  We waited for the results of his first MRI, our emotions were running high, but I was trying to be strong for him.  Trying not to let my fear and pain show.  It was his tumor, not mine....I needed to be strong for him.  The results came in.  "It looks like a tumor" says the Neurologist.  They recommended that we go to a different hospital to have a biopsy done.  They performed a biopsy and the results were in;  Grade II Oligoastrocytoma.  When my husband wasn't looking, I cried, I was scared.

My husbands biopsy was done on June 28, 2011.  My oldest daughters 13th birthday.  It was suppose t…