Saturday, January 7, 2012

I can't wait till this feeling passes....

When Jerry and I found out that he had a brain tumor, it was tough.  I would not let it show around him much, but as soon as I would get into the car and I was alone.....the tears would start shedding.  I'm a pretty emotional person already, so this is tough for me.  I try not to let my emotions show in front of my children either....I want them to not be afraid.  They are pretty oblivious.  My daughters "know" that he has a brain tumor, but I don't think they understand what it all means.  I think kids have a hard time seeing into the future with things like this.  Sometimes I wish I had a harder time.  I wish I could just live, and enjoy my family.  The feelings that both Jerry and I are having right now are very similar to the feelings we had when we first found everything out.  I guess it is just going to be expected from this point further.  It's almost like we live in denial in-between Dr. visits, then when we go, we get a reminder of how serious this is, and this time, the reality that it could get worse has faced us head on! 
I decided I wanted to post some pictures of Jerry "living" since he found out he had the his brain tumor...


This is a picture of Jerry at the hospital, before his Biopsy was done.


This is a picture of Jerry, myself and my oldest daughter on July 1, 4 days after Jerry's biopsy surgery and Hailey's 13th birthday.  It worked out that Hailey was at Church Camp that week, so her birthday was not really affected by the surgery.  We sent her a gift with a friend and her dad sent her a cake, so she definitely felt the love that day!


 Ironically...as if we hadn't been through enough, our son was admitted into the hospital 6 days before his birthday July 10 with an intussusception, and became severely dehydrated and was there for 4 days.


This picture was taken at our sons 1st birthday party in July. 


These pictures did cheer me up a bit.....give me a day or so...and I will be posting more happy thoughts :)

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