Thursday, January 5, 2012

My Mind.....it doesn't stop

June 19, 2011   I remember the day so clearly, my husband of 1 year & 8 months were sitting in the hospital room after my husband was admitted with Meningitis symptoms.  The Dr. came in to tell us that there is a "lesion" on his brain.  I didn't know what to think at first.  I wasn't sure how to react.  They said it could be an infection, or it could be a tumor.  We waited for the results of his first MRI, our emotions were running high, but I was trying to be strong for him.  Trying not to let my fear and pain show.  It was his tumor, not mine....I needed to be strong for him.  The results came in.  "It looks like a tumor" says the Neurologist.  They recommended that we go to a different hospital to have a biopsy done.  They performed a biopsy and the results were in;  Grade II Oligoastrocytoma.  When my husband wasn't looking, I cried, I was scared.

My husbands biopsy was done on June 28, 2011.  My oldest daughters 13th birthday.  It was suppose to be a day of celebrating her life, instead it was a day of fearing her step fathers, my husbands life.  In just a few short weeks, we were suppose to be celebrating our sons 1 year birthday, and a month after that, my youngest daughters 7th birthday....I wasn't sure how to approach all of this with the news we had received.

My husband and I were married in October 2009.  I had 3 daughters from my previous marriage, and he had 2 sons from his.  My girls are still in our home, ages 13, 11, & 7.  His sons are in their 20's, one is married, the other lives with his mother.  Eight months prior to our marriage, my husband lost his job of 27 years at General Motors.  He was "fired" for taking time off work due to his divorce months earlier.  It was a wrongful termination.  He was devastated.  GM was in the process of their Bankruptcy, bad timing for my husband I guess.  Thankfully he had years of experience working as an auto mechanic, a skill he learned from his own father working in the garage as a young boy.  He did what he had to do to survive, he was a hard worker, and at his age, getting a job somewhere was difficult, so he started his own Auto Repair business.  He became certified by the state, and was on his way to success.  With having his own business came many benefits, choosing his own hours, his own pay, doing what he wanted to do, working in his own way.  The dowside was....no health insurance.  We had insurance on our son, and my daughters were covered by their father, but he and I had no health insurance.  We had been researching, but putting off the cost, not seeing it's importance at the time.  As you can guess, we are struggling to pay our medical bills now.  Doing what we can, Dr's and hospital staff deserve to be paid for their services.

We came home from the hospital in dispair.  The first few weeks we were home, he cried, then I cried.  When one of us was strong, the other was weak.  "I don't want to loose my best friend", "I don't want my son to loose his father at such a young age".  My husband was scared, he was scared for his life, and he was scared for me, our son, his sons, and my daughters whom had grown to love him very much.  We were scared about money.  How are we going to pay for all of this....  Time went by, we figured out how to continue to live, how to make it through each day.  We have a marriage built on faith.  We believe in the Love and the truth of our Heavenly Father.  We don't understand how it all works, but we believe in him.  We believe in Jesus Christ, we believe in God, & we believe in the Holy Spirit.  We also believe that we have to take control of our own lives.  We can't sit back and wait for things to happen for us....we are on a journey.  My husbands survival of 7 years is not good enough for us....we are going to do something.  We are going to be proactive in his recovery.  We are researching, we are discovering.  This Blog is to inform you of the things we discover and the things we are doing.  We have time that some people don't have.  Some people are told they have only months to live.  We have been blessed with time, and we are going to try and use this time wisely. 

This is for you Jerry, I Love you with all my heart, with everything I am, and with every good thing you bring out of me.  I need you in my life.....we can do this, together, we can do this!

3 comments:

  1. Looking forward to following the journey. I think this will be a very good outlet for you Lyn. We are all on this journey with you and are willing to fight with you for Jerry. Kind of sounds like I like the guy. :)

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