Thursday, June 28, 2012

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Well, today is my daughter's 14th birthday.   Happy Birthday Hailey!!

Today is a good day.  It is a good day all around.   We are celebrating my daughters life and we are thankful for every additional year each one of us receives! 

 I was pretty bummed the other day when I wrote my post, but today is a new day, I'm Happy!  Jerry and I have had many conversations over the last couple of days and Jerry has been a huge encouragement to me.  Jerry feels very confident in the fact that he is healed.  That God has already healed him, and that he needs to walk in that faith.  Last night, in our "Life Group" that we are part of, the people there blessed me in ways that they don't even realize.  I have been depressed and less than encouraged lately.  I want my husband to be in my life for many many more years and hearing the Dr say the things he said to us was discouraging.  Last night in our life group I was reminded of God's healing power and that God is in control, God has the answers, and that God is leading our life......NOT the Dr!  Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for Doctor's and what they bring mankind, but in this situation....I'm not listening!!  My husband is healed by the great physician and we are walking in that healing.  We are rebuking satan, we are rebuking the idea's that he wants us to believe, mostly that our God is not that big.  Our God is and AWESOME God!  Jerry is in better spirits than he has been lately.  He has definitely rubbed off on me!  I try to be strong and positive for him, but sometimes it just get's so hard.  Jerry has been the one who has been strong lately.  He has been through so much and yet remains positive in the truth that God is who he says he is.  He has a plan and we are trusting in that plan, whatever it may be.  We have already seen God's work in our situation...we have known of people to be saved at our fundraisers and people have been encouraged by Jerry's faith during this ordeal. 

We will continue to walk by faith, each step.....

Monday, June 25, 2012

FAITH

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.  By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.
~ Hebrews 11:1,3


This is the scripture that Jerry has been reading over and over these last few weeks.  Our dear neighbor sent this to us in a card, and I don't think she knew that it would be so impacting to Jerry and I.  We both are familiar with scripture and we "know" what the bible says, but this scripture was very powerful to us.  Jerry has been reading it every day.

Before our appointment today, Jerry kept saying "I think God is telling me to walk by faith, not by sight".  I almost hated hearing him say that....cause I knew that if that were true, that if God was telling him that....that it meant that the tumor was still going to be there.

Well, Jerry had his MRI this morning.  The tumor is still intact, and in fact, it appears to be slightly larger in size.  While I was sitting quietly arguing with God about all the "Whys", Jerry sat there calmly discussing treatment options with his Doctor.  When we left, I was quiet.  Jerry went on to remind me that while doing his research on PROTOCEL, it did state that with Brain Tumors, the tumor may never actually disappear and that it may actually increase in size due to inflammation during the process of the cell's dying off period.  Jerry said that it has only been 3 months on PROTOCEL, and he is confident in the treatment regimen that he is on.   

Jerry plans to continue taking PROTOCEL every 4.5 hours, going one stretch of 6 hours during the night....24 hours a day, everyday. 

"Father, help us to live by faith and not by sight.  I recognize that faith is not my wishful thinking but an inward conviction that You will always do what You promise regardless of our circumstances.  Through faith, we declare our weakness and at the same time proclaim the absolute trustworthiness of God and your complete and willing ability to do what we cannot.  Help us, Lord, not to have foolish confidence in ourselves, but always look to You in every part of our lives.  For You are always faithful, and I can count on You.  Praise God, Amen."  
 (This prayer was also part of the card from our neighbor)

In Him......

Monday, June 18, 2012

One Year....

Wow, I really can't believe it has been a year since this roller coaster ride started.  It has been quite a ride, that's for sure.  Jerry and I have learned so much over the last year, not just about health issues, the food we eat, what an Oligoastrocytoma is, or even about medication....we have learned how to cope.  We still struggle with the coping mechanism, but when one of us is down, the other is up....it works out OK that way. 

    A year ago today, Jerry and I were sitting at the hospital wondering what the "mass" in Jerry's brain was and wondering if it was anything to worry about.  We didn't know if it was an infection, or a tumor.  I remember being scared and confused and I remember Jerry was sitting in his bed talking on his phone to his employees, still running his business, hospital gown and all!

    Another memory I have is when Jerry's mom brought our son up to the hospital to see his daddy.  It was an emotional moment.  Brayden was 11 months old and he had absolutely no idea what his daddy was going through.  The only thing he knew was that he hadn't seen much of his mommy or his daddy for the past few days and he was happy to see us. 


In this moment, I cried.....Brayden had seen me a couple of times, but he hadn't seen his daddy at all for a few days since he had been in isolation due to the meningitis......


I'm really glad that a year has passed and we are all doing well.  Brayden is now 23 months old and is a thriving toddler and  his two favorite words are "No" and "Mine"!  (And he really really LOVES spending time with his Daddy)

 


On June 28, Jerry had his biopsy where the Dr's confirmed that this was in fact a Tumor rather then an infection from the meningitis.  The months to follow that have been some of our lowest of low moments and also our highest of high moments.  We have had a couple of fundraisers and in the moments of those fundraisers, as humbling of a position it was to be in them, we were thankful that God had put so many people in our lives to show us his love and in-turn, we could show other's that in the midst of our battle, we are remaining faithful in our belief that God is in control.  One of Jerry's sayings right now is "He can, and he will, but even if he doesn't" .  

The main reason for my post today is to ask everyone for lots of heavy duty prayer for the next week.  God knows what we want, he hears it, but I don't think it hurts to shout it out to him in one accord!  Jerry has an MRI next Monday, June 25th.  We are very nervous, excited, and sick to our stomach's about this MRI.  Our first desire is to see that the tumor has been taken from Jerry's body by our Great Physician,  or at the very least, see that the Protocel is making a change in the size of Jerry's tumor....that the tumor is shrinking.    Whatever the path that God has, please pray for our ability to be able to handle it.  Jerry is really hoping for a moment where he can witness to his Dr who is reading his MRI, and when the Dr says "I don't know what happened, but the tumor is gone", Jerry will be anxiously waiting for this opportunity to tell the Dr. EXACTLY where his tumor went and EXACTLY how it got there....  

Jerry is doing well, in good spirits and working like a mad man!!  Please remember to pray for him and his overall health.  He has a lot of stress in his life with running his business, and then on top of it his body is trying to fight this nasty unwanted group of cancer cells.....his body gets very tired.