Thursday, July 3, 2014

MRI Results 6-2-14

Jerry had his MRI yesterday and it was a LONG day!!  It went about the same as every other MRI that he has ever had....Jerry is full of anxiety and worry, I am trying to be strong next to him, but in a panic inside as well.  We sit through the MRI and then wait the two hours to meet with his neurosurgeon to find out the results..  The Neurosurgeon said that the tumor has grown about 4 mm in the last 2 years.  He encouraged surgery or radiation.  He said that radiation does not necessarily extend life expectancy, rather extend symptoms from developing.  Surgery, in his opinion, could extend life expectancy.  This is what the Neurosurgeon told us a year ago (that it had grown), then when we received the radiology report, which is done by a Dr. trained to read MRI's, he said that it had not appeared any larger.  So...we are waiting to get the radiology report before we make any drastic decisions..

Jerry is doing some research right now with the Burzynski clinic again.  Apparently there are some clinical trials coming up for people with primary brain tumors, which is what Jerry has.  He will be calling there in a couple weeks to see if he qualifies for anything. 

There really is no news, rather just an update to the unfortunate news that the tumor is still there, and appears to be larger...and Jerry has some big decisions to make. 

Please pray for clarity for him and for guidance & acceptance.

Thank you!

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Worry.....what is it worth?

Listen to this song if you can, while you read this blog...

June 11, 2014

I am feeling very overwhelmed this morning.  Life can get so crazy.  Life can bring us up and bring us down just as quickly.  People can be hurtful, and bring us pain, yet at the same time, people can bring us the most amazing amount of joy.

Over the last couple of weeks, my heart has been aching with worry.  I worry about my husbands physical and emotional well being.  I worry about how people treat him, how people love him or don't love him.  I worry about past regrets that never seem to quit haunting us. I worry that one day Jerry will have a seizure or even worse....things I won't mention.  Sometimes I look at what seems to be a very short life together (5 years married in October) and feel like I have already been with him for 30 years.  We have so much time together.  We spend every day together, we love each other in a way that I have never loved before.  I never get tired of him being around.  We work together so easily.  Jerry will often ask me that if something happens to him, if I will move on.  Of course, I can't really answer that question, only God knows what the future holds.  However, I can't even fathom the idea of having any room left in my heart for anyone else.  The song I put at the top of this blog, the words seem so perfect.....finding someone that you love is not's hard.  You hold back, you wait, you day you decide to say "I Love you".  How these words came to be for us, well, let's just say it was a very difficult time in both of our lives.  We fell in love....true love.  I loved him before I knew who he was to me.  I knew that God had a "love" for me and that he had not forgotten me among my sinful past.  I knew that God would make good of my life, I knew that God would heal all my scars and make me feel new again.....then I met him.  I didn't know who he was or how he was going to help God in healing my life, he didn't know either.  We didn't even know we wanted or needed each other....we just fell in love with each other...We are part of the miracles of God's healing Grace.  We are what happens when you give it all to God and let his mighty hand heal and work.  We are a unified team that will not let Satan or anyone else destroy us.  We are together forever. 

Romans 8:28  "In all things God works for the good of those who love him that are called according to his purpose"

I'm not sure where this blog came from today....well in a way I do.....

I'm worried.

What does the future hold for our family? 

July 2nd is Jerry's appointment for his next MRI, he has not had one since March 2013.

We are worried.