Monday, February 2, 2015

Super Bowl Sunday

Well, today is the "day after" the event that many people just can't wait for....Super Bowl Sunday.  I'm not "into" football, neither is my husband, but many of our family members are, so we enjoy the festivities and play the games, watch the commercials, the half time show...la de da.....

Today, I was looking on my computer doing some research in regards to my husbands brain tumor, calling a new Dr. for the FOURTH time, hoping this time they will call me back, checking with our insurance company to find out where we can go, and what hoops we have to jump through to try to get there...la de da....  This seems to have become a natural practice in our home anymore.  The wondering, the waiting, and the living life through it all.

What is hard for me, is not the acceptance of where we are, rather it is the acceptance of the fact that it is so hard to get what we need.  Or should I say what my husband needs....  People will pay Millions upon Millions to hold an event like the Superbowl, my nephew said that it cost $4 Million just for a 30 second commercial during the super bowl.  I don't know if that is accurate, but it is probably close...

It is amazing to me, that a persons life is not as valuable to many.  I know that there are many companies and corporations out there that donate a lot of money to find the cures for cancer and research and such....but for us little people, we don't really get to see that money.  I'm not complaining about the help that we have received, nor am I looking for anything at this moment, it is just hard to wrap my head around it all.  The treatment that my husband would like to receive, it is a non-traditional treatment called Antineoplastons founded by Dr. Burzynski, that has been known to cure cancer without all the chemicals and poisoning of the body or without having to have a possibly life altering surgery that could potentially paralyze my husband, if not worse...  Instead, millions of dollars have been used to try to get Dr. Burzynski to sell his cure or to kick him to the curb all together.  In the meantime, the cure itself is out of reach financially for our family, but would be conceivable if we were given just a few seconds worth of what one commercial cost that played during the Superbowl.

I just don't get it.  I don't understand how our world has gotten to be this way.  I honestly wish sometimes that I lived back in the day when helping our neighbors was just part of our natural daily routine.  I do realize that there are benefits of today's world, I just don't understand how so much money can be spent on entertainment while there are husbands, fathers, mothers, daughters, wives, husbands, and children dying of cancer.  Some who just gave up and quit fighting after spending every last dime they had to fight.  People sell everything they own just to get treatment to survive, yet as a country, we spend millions to watch Katy Perry sing on a pole flying through the air!?!  How did we get here?  How did our priorities get so messed up?  Or is it just because it is someone that I love that has been affected by cancer that it matters to me so much?

It's tough for me to lay my head down at night and be proud of where our country is heading.  I just don't get it.  I'm not sure I ever will.  I just want a cure for my husband, I want him to live.  I want the Dr's office to care enough to call me back and I want my insurance company to pay for what they are suppose to pay for.  I'm sick of fighting.

Go Superbowl......blah blah blah.....